Teen told to wait until 16 and date only churchgoing boys

Dear Pastor,

I am 15 and I follow your column. I stay with my daddy and my stepmother. Daddy purchases THE STAR daily. Since I turned 13 he has pushed me to study your advice, saying it would do me good. My stepmother is kind to me.

When I was three, my mother handed me over to my father. He then left me with my grandmother, who brought me up. She passed away four years ago. After that it was just Daddy and me until he found the woman who is now my stepmother. She is five years his senior and has no children of her own. She dotes on him and treats him like royalty. She also claims he has spoilt me. Whenever she reports something I did wrong, he summons me before her and insists I say sorry. I do not push back. He calls her his queen, she calls him king, and he calls me his princess. He wants us to live as one contented household.

Daddy says I must not take a boyfriend, because a boyfriend will turn me from the right path. The only thing he is ready to invest in, he says, is my schooling. Companions may come by our house, yet overnight stays are forbidden. When I go to their homes, he collects me no later than 8:30 at night.

Church life keeps me busy, though Daddy himself stays away from church. I asked whether he plans to wed my stepmother. He answered that time would tell. She would welcome marriage but is not forcing the issue. She describes him as the finest man she has known. A fellow from the congregation she belongs to has shown interest and asked her out; she refused and told him to seek someone else.

Daddy has promised that once I reach 16 I may keep company with boys — but only those who attend church. I have not spotted anyone at church who appeals to me.

Thank you for reading my letter and for guiding young people. — D.

Dear D.,

Keep honouring your father’s rules. You are blessed with a dad who cares for you and stands behind you. You are also blessed with a stepmother who is good to you. Plenty of stepdaughters face harsh treatment and false stories from stepmothers, so always give yours due respect. You did not name the trade or vocation you hope to follow. Whatever path you choose, pour yourself into it fully and strive for excellence.

Pastor