Dear Pastor,
I am 26 years old and I have one child. The father of my child now lives in the United States. Before he migrated, he told me he would return to Jamaica and make me his wife.
He has been overseas for two and a half years. During the first year I remained committed to him, mainly because he contacted me often and we would talk for long periods. Over time, our conversations became sexual. He said those calls would help him avoid getting into trouble.
About a year ago, I found myself in a bad situation. I ran into a man I knew from school and shared my number with him. Since my child’s father had been away, that was the worst decision I made. The man kept phoning until I finally agreed to spend time with him.
When we went out, I made it clear that I could not become intimate with him because I was already involved with someone and we had a child together. He said he understood and respected my position.
Not long afterwards, he contacted me again and asked me to travel out of town with him, saying he wanted company. I asked if we would return early, and he told me yes. Instead, we did not get back until midnight. My mother was watching my child for me.
My child’s father had called while I was away and became angry because he could not reach me. I first told him a lie, but he was not convinced. Later, I admitted that I had gone to rural Jamaica with a friend and had returned late.
Pastor, to shorten the story, I later went to this man’s home and we had sex. Soon after, my child’s father called to say he was coming to Jamaica.
When he arrived, he kept asking whether I had remained loyal to him, and I told him I had. He asked why I could not look straight at him while saying it. He did not trust my answer and said my eyes exposed me. Somehow, I managed to make him accept that I was telling the truth, and he went back overseas.
The problem is that I am now even closer to the man here in Jamaica, and I am starting to love him. We are sleeping together often. I am being honest when I say I do not know what step to take, so I am asking for your guidance.
D.
Dear D.,
You need to ask yourself which of the two men you truly love more: the one living abroad or the one who is here in Jamaica. You also have to decide which relationship offers you the better future.
Another question is whether you are strong enough to distance yourself from the young man you became involved with. No one else can make that choice for you.
In my view, your child’s father offers you a stronger future. Tell the man in Jamaica that you made an error by getting involved with him and that it will not continue. If he keeps calling, block his number. Do not go anywhere with him again.
I wish you well.
Pastor
Syndicated from Jamaica Star · originally published .