Church counselling sparks debate on whether penis size defines bedroom satisfaction

Dear Pastor,

I have been married for over ten years, and my husband is not Black. I am stating that plainly because many people believe Black men are naturally well endowed. My husband is not. He has a small penis. We have three children together.

When we married, I was already pregnant. He told me that several of his friends kept asking whether he was certain he was the father. He would answer that he was sure, but that time would prove it once the baby arrived. The child was born with his complexion, and after that nobody questioned his paternity.

Roughly a year and a half later, I became pregnant again. We now have three children. His penis has not grown, yet in bed he is as passionate as fire. He knows exactly how to arouse me. It is not only his private part that is small; his whole body is petite.

Pastor, I want to make it clear that size does not always decide satisfaction. I eventually visited my doctor and asked to have my tubes tied because I did not want another pregnancy. The idea that a larger penis automatically means better sex is simply not true.

This topic came up during a discussion among women at my church, and I was struck by how strongly people feel about it. When I had my turn to speak, the women applauded me. I even heard wives whose husbands are tall and well endowed admit that those men still fail to please them sexually.

To women in that position, I would say they need a partner like my husband—someone who knows how to use his fingers and his mouth in the right places and how to set the mood. They would soon see that what counts is not the size of a man’s penis, but how he uses what God gave him.

Over to you, Pastor.

L.

Dear L.,

First, I am pleased that your church holds counselling sessions. Every congregation should do the same. Men and women ought to meet together for some sessions and apart for others. Bringing in a trained professional can also be very useful. Young adults and teenagers in the church deserve the same kind of guidance.

I am glad you wrote to say that penis size is not always the deciding factor. I remember a nurse who visited me and insisted that size does matter. She was a woman of experience and said she had been intimate with many men. She told me she could not tolerate men who are very small, saying their movement amounted to little more than a wiggle. She wanted to feel something substantial inside her. I could not dispute her view, but I fully understand what you are describing.

What you are saying is that thorough, skilful foreplay can outweigh having a large penis with no technique. Not long ago in this column, I wrote about another woman who remarried a man with a small penis. Even so, he continues to thrill her with romance. He knows what stirs her and how to keep her content throughout lovemaking.

To men who struggle to please their partners, I would urge them to read books on the art of lovemaking and stop fixating on penis size.

Pastor