Young Woman Says Grandmother Caught Her With Boyfriend and Used Cutlass to Discipline Them

Dear Pastor,

I am a 21-year-old woman, and I am dealing with a situation that has stayed with me. I was raised by my grandmother, who made a living buying and reselling goods. Some days business went well, and other days were difficult.

My mother showed little interest in looking after me, so my grandmother took responsibility for me. My father helped by giving me money each week for school. I would also go to him when I needed extra money to prepare Sunday dinner.

One morning, I arranged for my boyfriend to come to the house so we could be together. My grandmother had gone out early, and he arrived at about 8 a.m. We intended to have sex.

Around 9 a.m., my grandmother came back because she was feeling unwell. When she entered the house, my boyfriend and I were in my bedroom having sex. Neither of us heard her come inside.

She went to the kitchen, picked up a cutlass, and came into the room. At that moment, I thought she might kill one of us. My boyfriend screamed, and she asked him why he was crying out. She then told him to keep doing what he had been doing.

She struck him twice with the cutlass. When I tried to get away, she stood in front of the doorway and hit me twice as well. My boyfriend ran from the room without any clothes on. She continued to beat me while I pleaded with her to forgive me for what I had done.

That day taught me a lesson. My grandmother later said she had already suspected that I was sexually active.

A neighbour came over and asked what was going on because she had heard a strange commotion. My grandmother told her I was only making noise because I had seen a large rat in the house and was afraid of rats. When the woman asked why I was crying, I said the rat had jumped on me.

I do not know where my boyfriend went after he left, but he disappeared and went about his business. He even forgot his ID, which he had left on the table.

L.

Dear L.,

When your grandmother found you and your boyfriend having sex and reached for the cutlass, I do not believe her intention was to chop either of you. Some women use machetes as a way of beating people, not necessarily to wound them with the blade.

Was she reacting because she believed you were below the legal age? That could not have been the case. If you were already past the age of consent, then you were not in danger legally, and your boyfriend was not committing an offence on that basis.

It may be that your grandmother felt you had crossed a serious line by having sex in her house. I cannot say for certain, but that may have been why she dealt with you so harshly.

The young man ran away, and I do not understand why you would expect him to remain in a room where your grandmother was holding a cutlass. I am thankful that both of you were not seriously harmed and that your grandmother did not find herself in trouble.

I would have liked to know what became of the relationship and whether you and the young man are still together. You need to be mindful of the way you conduct yourself. I hope the two of you are still together.

Pastor