Manchester mother, 23, speaks out after surviving severe postpartum depression

Anna* says she only grasped how unwell she had become when she could no longer see herself in the person she had been. Now 23 and describing herself as on “the other side” of postpartum depression, she is sharing her story so relatives and partners learn to spot the red flags of an illness she believes too many Jamaican women endure quietly.

“If I could go on a mountain and scream out how important it is ... I still don’t think it would be enough,” Anna told THE STAR. “People, even your family, don’t understand how bad it is.”

Before she conceived, the Manchester native said she was sure of herself, sociable and driven. At 19 she was working toward a bachelor’s degree and felt her future was clear. Learning she was expecting during her third year at university in 2021 unsettled her, yet she says she handled the pregnancy itself without major difficulty.

“I managed pregnancy well,” she recalled. “Postpartum is where everything hit me like a log.”

Dr Brian Kazaara, a psychiatrist at Bellevue Hospital, said postpartum depression is depression that sets in after a woman gives birth and is typically defined by a low mood that continues for more than two weeks. He listed common signs such as losing interest in usual activities, troubled sleep, reduced appetite, exhaustion, trouble focusing and, in the gravest situations, thoughts of harming oneself.

For Anna, the condition stripped away the happiness she had expected when her daughter arrived. “Two months after having my baby, I was questioning why I wasn’t feeling the excitement I felt during pregnancy,” she said. “I didn’t feel like I loved her... I felt nothing. I was numb.”

She did seek clinical support and was referred to hospital, but long delays and scant public awareness of the illness meant she put off getting care. Dr Kazaara said trouble forming a bond with an infant can appear in more serious postpartum depression, yet he emphasised that with proper treatment most mothers recover and build sound relationships with their children.

“It is a very treatable condition,” he said. “Especially when treatment starts early, we see favourable outcomes.”

Four months after delivery, Anna went back to a call-centre job, hoping routine would restore her stability. Instead, pressure at work, overnight hours and chronic sleeplessness made her worse. “Everything just started to go downhill,” she said.

Her body declined quickly as well. She shed nearly 50 pounds, stopped looking after herself and began to hallucinate. “I wasn’t showering. I wasn’t brushing my teeth ... I was seeing shadows, hearing voices.”

Dr Kazaara said hallucinations are not classed as a core feature of postpartum depression, though they may arise when the illness is severe and left untreated. Help finally arrived through counselling offered under her workplace mental-health programme. “I maxed out every session,” she said. “I was just crying for help.” Even then, she said the psychological weight of the ordeal stayed heavy.