Pastor urges teen to drop boyfriend who shames her street selling

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 and struggling. I share a home with my parents and three siblings — two older brothers who work, and one sister. Farming is my father’s only income. When what my mother has falls short, my sister and I must ask our brothers for money so we can buy sanitary napkins.

I have begun talking with a young man who is already pressing me for sex. I told him I am not ready. He answered that he cannot take our relationship seriously unless I give him what he wants.

My father is still meeting the cost of the house we occupy; he is doing all he can. My sister has no boyfriend. I sell drinks and sweets on the road to bring in a little cash, though the returns are small. When my boyfriend spotted me there, he told me to go home. He said he does not want his girlfriend seen selling juice in public. He also claimed that starting with street sales would lead me to sell myself to men. His words cut me deeply.

We were brought up as Christians and stay close to church. Kin overseas often assist us with clothes and shoes, so outsiders assume we have money. Even this young man asks how I can need cash when I dress well. I will not bring shame on my parents.

Should I let them know about him? And is it wrong for me to sell drinks and sweets to ease my own needs? I ask for your counsel.

R.

Dear R.,

Thank you for writing. Keep walking in a straight path. Your parents are doing what they can for the household, and you are not in the wrong when you sell juice and sweets to help yourself.

You mentioned relatives who regularly send goods. I take it those arrive in barrels. When you next speak with them, ask that sanitary supplies for you and your sister be packed in as well.

The young man showing interest in you does not have your welfare at heart. Sex is what he is after. Think hard about ending the friendship. Stay true to the young woman you are, and write again about how you are getting on.

Pastor