Widow rediscovers romance and faces worship-day rift with new partner

A reader who has followed this column since childhood, and is now in her forties, reached out after years of grief. Her husband died in a motor vehicle collision. Thoughts of him once filled every day, though healing has come easier now that her two sons are grown and have children of their own.

She is seeing a divorced man in his fifties. She did not believe she could fall in love again, yet outings and time together have awakened feelings she thought were finished. Her sons, both adults, have taken to him warmly. She noted that sons often resist men who show interest in their mother. When she brought him to meet them, they asked searching questions, and he told them plainly that his intentions were honourable.

She is not looking to him for money. He has his own home, and hers is fully paid off. She still works, and he understands that everything she owns will go to her children. If they marry, they have already spoken about signing a prenuptial agreement.

The strain in the relationship centres on worship. He belongs to a congregation that meets on Saturday. She worships on Sunday at another church. He would like her to worship with him, and she does not see herself making that change. She asked Pastor to help her work through the problem.

Pastor replied that he is pleased she has found affection again, but the decision about church must be hers. She should ask whether her partner would be willing to worship with her on Sunday instead. The two of them will need to settle the matter between themselves. Pastor wished her well.