Woman says partner cheats, steals and impregnated her staff

Dear Pastor,

For three and a half years I have shared a home with a man who helps run my business yet still manages to betray me. He insists he is faithful, but I know better. He keeps inventing reasons to meet his friends and returns in the small hours. He claims I am miserable and that is why he keeps his distance.

My doubts hardened after he misplaced his phone. A woman dialled my number looking for him. When I asked how she had my contact, she said it was saved on the handset she found. They had shared a taxi; the phone slipped from his pocket unnoticed. Only after she reached home did she spot it on the seat.

I have done plenty to keep him content. I have joined him at clubs and let him dance freely while I stayed seated, watching him take in women stripping down to their strings. Whenever I want him now, he is usually at one of those spots.

I am unsure how to handle him. Honestly, I love him deeply. Two young women work in my shop. He got one of them pregnant, then took money from the business and handed it to her for an abortion. She confirmed he paid her because she refused to keep the baby. When I confronted her about hurting me, she said he claimed he would walk out on me because I had put on weight and no longer attracted him. He denied her account; I trusted hers. I dismissed her.

He has escaped consequences many times. My parents urge me to put him out, yet for all his deceit he still helps in ways I rely on. What cuts deepest is that he chased one of my employees and now turns the blame on me. The one request I have refused is inviting another woman into bed with us for a threesome. He floated the idea; I said no. He has confessed that he took the funds so the worker could end the pregnancy. What should I do?

W.

Dear W,

You have already made clear that leaving him is not what you want, so seeking my view is unnecessary. Plenty of women have sat beside their partners in strip clubs. You went along because you sense something missing in yourself and thought tagging along would heighten his excitement. His excuses about your weight do not explain his conduct; he reaches for that line only to defend himself. In my judgement he is a thief, and thieves belong behind bars.

Pastor