Young woman seeks guidance after past sexual encounter with two brothers

Dear Pastor,

I am 20, and in my younger years I used to carry on a lot with men. I became sexually active at 16. On one occasion, I ended up having sex with two brothers on the same night. They both had an interest in me, and I went out with them.

Instead of bringing me back home, they carried me to another party. Things there got out of hand. We danced, they touched me, and later both brothers had sex with me. I never made a report, because at the time I went along with what happened.

Now I am 20 and I am in a steady relationship with one man, and I care about him. He has told me he would help me return to school, because I want to train as a cosmetologist. I stay with my grandparents, but they do not have the money to assist me, so my boyfriend is the one helping me.

He is good to me and gives me money every week. He does not want me going out unless he gives permission, so I always tell him before I go anywhere. His sister is the same age as me, and she and I are very close.

Her boyfriend does not treat her as kindly, but she says she is not ready to leave him. She also wants to continue her education, but her boyfriend told her he will not pay to school any woman.

From time to time I see the two brothers, because they work near where we live. When I pass them, I only greet them briefly and move on. My boyfriend has no idea that I was ever sexually involved with them. This is the first time I am telling anyone, so please do not judge me. I only need some encouragement.

A.

Dear A.,

I am not here to pass judgement on you or on anybody else. Going out with those two brothers was a poor decision, and they used the situation to their benefit. Still, I am thankful that you did not become pregnant and that you did not contract any STI.

I hope your present boyfriend honours what he promised and continues to assist you. Since cosmetology is the field you want to enter, you should get in touch with HEART so they can explain what options and information are available to you.

Look after yourself properly, and feel free to write again.

Pastor